I’ve been choosing to ignore much of what is offered in the news cycle today. I feel that I have only so many braincells to use before I expire, and that anything coming from the two Meccas of Insanity – Washington, D.C. and Hollywood, CA – should be automatically filtered into the “bit bucket.”
I violated this self-imposed edict yesterday when I read about the death of actor Michael Madsen. While most cinema aficionados will recognize Madsen from “Reservoir Dogs,” “Donnie Brasco,” and the “Kill Bill” series, I’m sure his other roles from “Strip ‘n Run”, “Pauly Shore is Dead” (playing himself!), and “The Bleeding” will remain where they’ve been perfectly ensconced… on IMDB and outside of anyone’s non-dementia inflicted memory banks.
I cannot fault the guy for having over 340-something acting credits to his name, regardless of the schlocky-titles. I’ve only had two acting credits – a church play and one in elementary school – and didn’t get paid for either one. Madsen’s first listed Hollywood acting credit, however, is why we are here today.
In the far off times of the early 1980s, a pair of screenwriters named Lawrence Lasker and Walter F. Parkes, wrote “WarGames,” an action packed story filled with nuclear weapons (or the threat thereof), government agents chasing an innocent (?) boy, a talking computer… and… a wise mentor character trope that does nothing but spit out pithy phrases like:
“Nature knows when to give up, David”
“Listen carefully. Path. Follow path. Gate. Open gate. Through gate. Close gate. Last ferry 6:37. Run. Run. Run.”
“General, do you really believe that the enemy would attack without provocation, using so many missiles, bombers, and subs so that we would have no choice but to totally annihilate them?”
But today’s eulogy is not for actor John Wood, nor his enigmatic Professor Steven Falken, or that damn pile of microchips and “silicone diodes,” Joshua/WOPR.
Today remembrance is for “Deputy Steve,” as played by Michael Madsen.
Deputy Steve – more accurately (fictional) First Lieutenant Steve Phelps, United States Air Force – was introduced during the first five minutes of WarGames. As he and his Missile Combat Crew Commander Captain Jerry (Lawson) arrive at their designated alert location, they spend the seconds riding the elevator downstairs talking about the potency of marijuana as grown by “a female friend.” The “High Five” change-over verbal exchange between crews is classic (“Visibility? Bullshit. You guys haven’t been on time for the last six months…”)
As Steve and Jerry settle into their shift, a message comes across the Primary Alert System squawkbox inside the Launch Control Center:
“Skybird, this is Dropkick, with a Red Dash Alfa message in two parts.”
(“Alfa” is PLSO correct, so please don’t send me any hat(e)mail on this.)
The action pitch increases based upon the half-assed launch actions the pair perform, until Captain Jerry decides to stop and await verification. This whole sequence is worthy of an academic dissertation, but will never be written due to classified actions that the screenwriters skipped. (One unclassified step I can mention: those two dopes should have been buckled in and had their chairs locked into position to ride out a NUDET. Alas…)
Deputy Steve does his best to support his commander, but when the pause happens, Steve just ain’t buying it.”
“That’s not the correct procedure, Captain.”
After (another) half-assed attempt to look like they’re following *some* type of instruction, Captain Jerry looks stoned like he was smoking that marijuana talked about earlier. Deputy Steve pulls out his .38-caliber revolver and takes aim at Captain Jerry, who by now has tacitly refused to turn the launch key.
“Sir, we are at launch. Turn your key.”
The camera makes way for an over-the-shoulder close-up shot with Deputy Steve cocking the revolver and aiming at his commander. “Turn your key, sir!”
Wow. Enough adrenaline shot through this eight-year old’s body on first viewing – which to be truthful wasn’t that hard to do with a Pixy Stix sugar rush or perusing through a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition – to completely derail any career thoughts outside “I want to join the Air Force, because I want to do THAT JOB!”
And that’s what I ended up doing during my first tour in the Air Force. Truth in recruiting however…
- Revolvers were no longer given to missileers (I’ve heard many reasons for this)
- The security forces on-site were not as friendly as Art LeFleur and the other guy
- Visibility never got that bad going out to site (delays only happened when attempting to go home)
- Change-over was never that quick (Well, sort of? Sometimes? ‘Nother story for another day)
- No tech manual ever used “give it a thump” as a checklist step to clear an error. (“Restart the system” seemed to be the catch-all for MANY troubleshooting steps.)
So in a weird twisted way, I owe my short, yet undistinguished, military career to Mr. Michael Madsen, aka “Deputy Steve” and his impressive acting during the first five minutes of “WarGames.”
I found an interview article years later where Madsen talked about how he was cast in “WarGames.” I found it refreshingly odd that he was an auto mechanic and paramedic before he started his career as an actor. Those are two jobs I respect on the outset because 1) car repairs are expensive and those dudes are mechanical wizards and 2) paramedics are the first line of medical care and keep your ass alive so the doctors and HMOs can kill you.
In honor of his career, I present Michael Madsen’s first Hollywood acting role as “Deputy Steve.”
Thanks Michael to being an Actor’s Actor… and totally making me believe that being a missile combat crew member was “THE COOLEST” job to have in the military. I’m stopping by your gravestone to give you a kick… one of these days.
Joseph T. Page II 